Hello everyone-
Since the last post a bunch of things have started to happen. We have purchased a cemetery plot for our son Ryan and ourselves - wow 33 years old and knowing where you are going to be layed to rest.....not something I really wanted to have to think about. Westlawn Cemetary in our town will be the final resting place for our son. It is a nice plot. No plot in front of us at all. A new england stone wall is behind the plot. Which means no one will be walking all over Ryan's resting place. We also got the cemetary 1 mile as the crow flies away from the house. I guess that is as close as I will have my son to me.
Our son Ryan arrived in the same town as we live the a couple of days ago (Friday I think). The days are running together. But I think that is because I have not worn a watch for some time.....
Today we also figured out that the funeral will be on Saturday May 28th at 10:00AM. Aline and I are starting to work in the order of service. This will be great therapy for us - but difficult.
Yesterday we went out for our first trip. Wow is society cold - and that is not meant to be mean - what I meant is that we have had so many great people who have been in touch with us to surround us with warmth and love that the general public has no clue. Nor do we want people to know by annoucing it at the top of our lungs everywhere we go.
My wife and I have been reading a book called Empty Arms. It is helping. We are also going to figure out some sorta group to visit and talk with.
Monday is going to be a challenege - we think. I am going back to work, and Aline will be with friends. The first time we are more than an arm length apart since Ryan's death.
So more looking at pictures, more smells.
Miss you Ryan - my son.
Still not having much fun...
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1 comment:
Kevin, you may want to check with Emerson's hospice group for pointers to grieving groups that might be geared to parents. Eleanor Matthews is one of the women that leads a widower's group. I am sure she should be able to point you to a group for parents. I found getting into one of these groups helped me tremendously during the first 6-9 months. You don't feel as alone in the world.
I also highly recommend finding a grief counselor. I was seeing Helene Gagliano who is wonderful at getting things out and getting you to evaluate what went on and why. I am normally not one into such touchy feely stuff but I'll have to admit I wouldn't be where I am in the healing process without her. I actually just stopped seeing her last Feb (26 months after Julie passed away). Note I know she just went on vacation, not sure when she is due back though.
Anyways, hang in there.
--td
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